Your Word is your Bond

Do you think before you make a promise to someone? What if you can’t deliver on your word? Does it really matter? The world isn’t going to come to an end, is it? Well, actually no, but have you considered . . .

Many people are pretty casual about making promises. As a result, promises are frequently made at the drop of a hat with no real intention of keeping them. “Let’s do lunch,” “I’ll call you later,” and “I’ll be there in five minutes” are all examples of throwaway promises that are frequently made but seldom kept. However, this casual attitude can have real consequences.Think about it — when someone else breaks a promise to you, or gets caught in a lie, doesn’t that make you feel violated or cheated?  You can’t help wondering whether you were wrong to ever trust that person.

There was a time when keeping your word held special significance. We took great pride in being of good character. Personal integrity was both expected and valued. That was a time when everyone knew each other’s family, and you wouldn’t do anything that would cast a shadow on your family’s good name. It was a time when integrity was instilled in children at a very early age and was viewed as instrumental in achieving success. The truth is, our world may have changed, but the importance of integrity has not. While we may not know everyone in our own town, the world is still smaller than you think. Create some bad news and you’ll learn this for yourself.

Every time you give your word, you’re putting your honor on the line. You’re implying that others can place their trust in you because you value integrity and would never let them down. It goes without saying that if you don’t live up to your word, you may end up tarnishing your credibility, damaging your relationships, and defaming your reputation. Most importantly, you’ll be letting yourself down.

But . . . when you operate with complete integrity, what you say will be taken at face value, your intentions will be assumed honorable, and your handshake will be as good as a contract. Most importantly, you can take great pride in the standards that you’ve set for yourself and sleep well at night knowing that your conscience is clear. As for others . . . just when they think they’re fooling the world, they’ll realize that they’re only fooling themselves. A promise is a promise after all.

What do you think? Are people too casual about making promises?

 

The tragedy of success.

WHEN SUCCESS KILLS SUBSTANCE

No matter what goals or aspirations you might have, there is one thing certain: There is a price you must pay to get what you want in life. In fact, there is no sidestepping the fact that any type of success demands something from you. It’s simply the way life works. As it is often said: you will not gain something for nothing.

As you make progress along your journey towards your desired outcomes, your pursuits will demand that you make difficult choices about what you will do and about what you won’t do. The goals and objectives you have in mind will not magically manifest in your life. You will need to work hard and potentially make some drastic sacrifices along the way.

I must say that anything you want in your life is essentially unattainable. It’s unattainable if you do not give something up in order to get something back. Giving something up could come in the form of your time, energy, money, relationship or worst, your personal being. You might need to sacrifice one of these things, or maybe a combination of these things in order to get what you want. Considerably, one of the biggest and most profound sacrifices you might undoubtedly need to make along that journey is changing who you are — for whom your “goal” needs you to become. Inarguably, many become blinded by the deceiving notion that they need to transform themselves into “ferocious beasts” in order to scare, devour and topple any competition while being unaware that they are slowly sliding down to a point of losing grip on their substance — the core value defining their humanity.

Having said that, I have one challenge for all of us: Don’t let slip the things you have that are real and substantive in the pursuit of success, most importantly so, in the pursuit of the ephemeral, the prospective, or the offhandedly promised.

This is not to say you should not be willing to set it all aside and go after something bigger or something better. But make sure you do it intelligently, and be aware of what you’re giving up, or might be giving up, when you do so, so you can make the best and most informed decision about which path you must  chose to take.

 

 

What I have for myself today & this Christmas

With the holidays approaching and the gift-giving season in full swing, why not give something that has more meaning than anything material.

This is not an invitation to stop all forms of material gifts. Do what you feel is right for you, buy presents, but give the act your full and best attention.

We do say it’s the thought behind the gift that counts.

If we look deeper into the statement above, the thought focused attention on something we want to get for someone. Then we expend the money and energy to buy it.

This is often the case during Christmas season – we celebrate the occasion with gifts to others and ourselves, yes ourselves also included.

We want to have or experience various things. But we don’t always get what we want. There are things we can’t afford. And there might be practical considerations (not enough time, and too many responsibilities) that stop us from going after what we desire.

The limitations of time, money, and responsibility can lead to feeling like we’re missing out; we can’t be happy or complete without getting what we want.

With the yuletide season coming up, as today is also my birthday, I thought about what I want this year. Usually I don’t want much (other than something sweet to share with my family). What gift can I give to myself that didn’t require money or more time?

As I ponder deeper, this rather simple idea comes to mind.

I have a habit of frowning, as if I’ve got all the burdens of the world upon my shoulders causing the skins in my forehead to cringe. To that, I must say that I don’t and my vision is also perfect so no apparent physical reason causing the frowning. At my age, I already have these obnoxious lines on my forehead, more like an exposed fault lines to my rather active rambling thoughts – an inner earthquake manifesting.  I stopped this habit of frowning in the past, but eventually started again. Even with disappointed looks and judgment from family, especially my significant half, I still did it. Shame was not an effective motivator. And discipline alone didn’t work either.

I’ve wanted to stop this habit for years, but haven’t succeeded. My guess: my reasons for stopping were not strong enough to make me stop for good.

A month ago, and after another disappointed look from my partner, something clicked. I decided to stop. This time it wasn’t because of disappointing others (that’s a bonus), but as a gift to myself – as an act of kindness and generosity. I gave myself something I’ve wanted for a long time, something that will free me from an embarrassing habit. And because it’s a gift, I won’t take it back.

So far so good. I’ve been celebrating this gift every day.

From this idea of stopping a bad habit, I started looking into the things that can transform our lives, but don’t require time or money. They will of course require energy, like everything else in life.

I came up with the following non-material yet great gifts I can give myself this year. They will not cost me a dime and they won’t take any more of my time. The only things required are the desire to do them and focused energy—no special tools, special time, or place. And these are:

Attention and awareness

One of the most profound things we can experience is focused attention. Living life is the sum of noticing and attending to what we’re experiencing, without judgment or analysis. To be fully one with the experience in this moment doesn’t cost anything. And it will change your life forever. The more you notice and pay attention, the more you appreciate, and the more you come alive. The gift of attention is within everyone’s reach.

Kindness

Being kind and forgiving doesn’t cost a thing. It’s a choice we can make every single moment.

If you’ve been holding a grudge, or have been feeling bitter and resentful, give yourself the gift of kindness by setting yourself free from unnecessary suffering over something that happened in the past. A smile, a gentle touch, or even a deep breath can reshape this moment.

Letting go

This is what I truly need given the painful experience I had just recently through the passing away of my mom. Letting go of expectations (of the future) and painful memories (of the past) is freedom.

You can let go of whatever you think should happen. Imagine doing what you’re doing and not worrying about how it’s going to turn out, or what others would think. It’s a wonderful gift.

When we let go of the past, we can forgive more easily. And when we let go of holding on to nostalgic memories and what was, we will awaken to the life we have right now. Letting go doesn’t stop with the past and the future, but includes the present. Another act of kindness is to let go of judging ourselves and others.

Acceptance and surrender

After letting go comes surrender and accepting life as it is. To accept how you feel, what you’re thinking, and where you are (the way you are) is power.

Surrender is trusting that life always has your back. You allow life to unfold, moment by moment, without wishing things were different. And when we surrender to life, we give ourselves the ultimate gift—peace.

All roads lead to LOVE

Attention is an act of love of all there is. Changing harmful habits is an act of self-love. Kindness and letting go are expressions of love towards ourselves and others. And surrendering to life is the most powerful and respectful act of love there is.

Our lives are in a constant state of influx and change. This is good news because we can change any thing at any given moment, if we make a conscious choice to do so.

The gifts of change are probably the ones that matter most. They don’t come wrapped up nicely in boxes, can’t be bought or sold, and are not too small to matter.

Think of something you can do for yourself that would be a kind and generous gift no one else can give you, something that won’t cost you money or time … something that you can do right now. What would that be?

Transformation starts with a single different choice.

(c) 2016 viewpointsofandrei.com

Failure: The Unwarranted Help

FOREWORD: As the year draws to an end, most people tend to evaluate (or re-evaluate) their lives — their successes and failures this year 2016. Often than not, on some absurd reason, most people tend to see their failures (regrets, frustrations and pains) rather than their successes. I, for one, often falls prey to that outlook. I have to battle through it for a change of perspective. Hence, this post; to remind myself that despite the many upsets and setbacks I had this year, I still emerged victorious or so, if I’ll just look at my experiences in a deeper perspective. 

Failure becomes success when we learn from it. If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at  change. Instead of looking at what’s missing, and how far you still have to go, focus on what’s present, and how far you have come.

Failures are lessons. What you can draw out of each failure is experience and knowledge that will help you succeed better. That is why you should never ever be afraid of failing, because there is absolutely nothing to fear. In the game of life, nobody plays a perfect game. If you think that some people lead perfect flawless lives, it’s your perception, but certainly not reality.

Accept that failure is a part of life, and the better you will be for it. Accept that you have failed. For some people, their past failures haunt them, and they never get over it. Accept it. Know that this is not some isolated incident, everyone has faced this. You are no different. At least you tried…at least you LIVED! Also, accept that you will fail in the future. Some things will work, and some won’t. Preparing yourself mentally for this is smart. It’s realistic and logical.

Now, accepting is NOT expecting! You should never expect to fail. The ones that expect to fail realize their wishes very easily. You can be logical and accept that the possibility of failure does exist, but you can be confident in your chances to avoid such failure. This is crucial, as you do not want to become a habitual failure. Just knowing that even if you do fail, you will get over it, and that it won’t destroy you is so empowering that simply having that frame of mind increases your chances of success even more.

Without failure, how sweet would success be? How can success be appreciated, without knowing the opposite feeling? I’m thinking of the closest example of this…over-privileged kids that had everything handed to them. How many times have we heard of such kids turning out to be complete disasters? Without having experienced the opposite feeling, they had no idea of the value of what they were given. So they destroyed it. 

Anything that you are thinking of doing, any projects or endeavors that you have in mind, just give it a try. Live your life, and trying such things is living. The biggest hurdle that keeps people from succeeding is the fear of failure. It causes a sudden halt in progress, and no movement means no potential for success. Don’t be such a person. Don’t be afraid of failing, welcome it. Be ready for it. But expect to succeed, because in the end, you will.

Why deny yourself the opportunity to accomplish everything that you ever wanted out of life? This is the key that unlocks the door to your dreams. Your success is directly proportional to the number of times you fail, which is directly proportional to the number of times you try. You can’t have one without the other. Be at peace with it, rise up, and give it your all. That is the only way to truly experience life at its fullest

And a new mindset to welcome the coming year, 2017! Let’s move on!

 (c) 2016 viewpointsofandrei.com

Are you Perfect?

Perfect people have scars on their faces and perfect complexions. Perfect people have long brown hair at 60 and short grey hair at 35. Perfect people wear wigs. Perfect people have sex with men, women, both, or no one at all. Perfect people can barely see over the grocery store counter, and sometimes bump their heads at the top of doorways. Perfect people have waistlines that are infinite in size and geometry. Perfect people have skin tones as light as vanilla ice-cream and as rich dark chocolate. Perfect people come from every corner of this beautiful planet and can be seen everywhere – even in the mirror. Yeah! That’s right! Perfect is the way we are born. Perfect  is the way we are now. Perfect is exclusively unique.

We are all perfect just the way we are!

So, be yourself. Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are. Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. Be the person you know yourself to be — the best version of you — on your terms. And above all, be true to YOU — if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.

(c) 2016 viewpointsofandrei.com

NOW: The magic behind.

Life unfolds in the present. But so often, we let the present slip away, allowing time to rush past unobserved and unseized, and squandering the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and ruminate about what’s past.

We live in the age of distraction. Yet one of life’s sharpest paradoxes is that your brightest future hinges on your ability to pay attention to the present.

When we’re at work, we fantasize about being on vacation; on vacation, we worry about the work piling up on our desks. We dwell on intrusive memories of the past or fret about what may or may not happen in the future. We don’t appreciate the living present because we vault from thought to thought like monkeys swinging from tree to tree. We overthink and our thoughts take over our decisions and actions.

However, living in the moment allows you to be truly grateful for the wonderful things you have in this very moment, no matter if it is health or the fact that you have a lovely family. By living in the moment you are not dependent on the accomplishment of wealth, tangibles or anything else in order to become happy as you are already able to appreciate and love the very moment, which makes you happy. Furthermore, it helps you to realize that the pursuit of material things or needs with the attempt to find fulfillment and happiness will fail and end in a viscous circle of desiring, pursuing and achieving, without reaching the desired destination (happiness). Goals and hopes (for instance the hope to become rich, famous or successful) are not real in the present situation, as they are just thoughts and dreams that do not exist, yet. You cannot feel or experience them and should not rely on them to make you any happier at all, when realized. Even more important: the things you desire won’t make you any happier at all, if you aren’t able to be thankful for what you already have. In fact, you will never experience true happiness and fulfillment by accomplishing the various things labeled as your “personal needs”, as these needs are constantly shifting, as soon as you satisfy one of them.

When living in the moment there will be no questions about what might happen, what could have happened or what will happen. Living in the moment means to accept the past as what it is: a bygone and not changeable experience that will only have an influence on your present life if you allow it to.

(c) 2016 viewpointsofandrei.com

Falling behind? I think not!

Timing is the one thing that we often forget to surrender to.

Things are dark until they’re not. Most of our unhappiness stems from the belief that our lives should be different than they are. We believe we have control — and our self-loathing and self-hatred comes from this idea that we should be able to change our circumstances, that we should be richer or hotter or better or happier. While self-responsibility is empowering, it can often lead to this resentment and bitterness that none of us need to be holding within us. Hear me out on this: We have to put in our best efforts and then give ourselves permission to let whatever happens to happen—and to not feel so directly and vulnerably tied to outcomes. Opportunities often don’t show up in the way we think they will.

You don’t need more motivation or inspiration to create the life you want. You need less shame around the idea that you’re not doing your best. You need to stop listening to people who are in vastly different life circumstances and life stages than you and who tell you that you’re just not doing or being enough. You need to let timing do what it needs to do. You need to see lessons where you see barriers. You need to understand that what’s right now becomes inspiration later. You need to see that wherever you are now is what becomes your identity later.

“There’s a magic beyond us that works in ways we can’t understand.”

Sometimes we’re not yet the people we need to be in order to contain the desires we have. Sometimes we have to let ourselves evolve into the place where we can allow what we want to transpire.

Let’s just say that whatever you want, you want it enough. So much so that you’re making yourself miserable in order to achieve it. What about chilling out? Maybe your motivation isn’t the problem, but that you keep pushing a boulder up a mountain that only grows in size the more you push.

There’s a magic beyond us that works in ways we can’t understand. We can’t game it. We can’t perfect it. We can’t control it. We have to just let it be, to take a step back for a moment, stop beating ourselves up into oblivion, and to let the cogs turn as they will. And trust that one day, this moment will make sense. 

Give yourself permission to trust that. 

You need to give yourself permission to be a human being.

    _________________________________________

N.B.: This is sort of a follow through of the post Thoughts and Quotes (#Misconception). This, however, emphasizes the significance of what appropriate timing can effect on peoples’ lives, dispositions and perceptions. And this also holds and much stronger view about facing the realities of one’s personality, circumstances, and existence. 

(c) 2016 viewpointsofandrei.com

 

What my dogs taught me

Animals of all kinds can bring us so much joy, not only when things are going well, but also when we feel pain and are suffering.

Are you an animal lover? I know I am. And although a penguin (and definitely a cute one indeed) is on my featured quote, I am and will always remain a dog lover at heart! Since I was a little child, these amiable canines which we knowingly call “man’s best friend” always have a special place in my heart. They’ve been part of my family and receive the same amount of love and affection as I give each of my human family members.  

Having said that, I would also want to stress that not just dogs but actually any of our beloved pets can be called “Man’s best friend”. Why? Because they remain true and faithful companions through thick and thin. We look to our pets when we are ready to play and laugh, and they instinctively know when we need their support. We all have struggles and challenges in life, and it’s during those times that our pets can really come in handy to help us find our joy.

I’ve had a dog most of my life. From purebreds to mutts, I’ve loved them all. It has always felt comforting to me to have a dog around. The joy dogs provide is well worth the effort you give to feed, groom and care for them.

As I’ve said earlier, we all experience struggles and challenges in our life, at times leaving us confused and disoriented, and at worst, dysfunctional. And when the challenges become really stressful for us to handle, we resort to professional help to find and regain our balance. And oftentimes we tend to forget that our counterpart “best friends” were just there, literally at our side, willing and happy to serve their purpose – to keep us company or be our companion.

Looking at my dog (named Yellow) and pondering at the memories of all the many others that came before her, and prompted by this Animal Series tag (special thanks to Liz C for the nomination to participate on this) I’ve realized three important life lessons from my relationships with them.

1. Connect with others.

Our relationships with others nurture our soul. We may neglect our family and friends because of our work or other interests. We may just get busy and forget to stay in touch.

When we look to our dogs, they need our connection on a daily basis. They need our love, time, and attention. When we stay connected with others, it feeds our soul and helps to lead us to a strong and happy life.

2. Live for today.

We can spend time regretting the past and worrying about the future, but I have learned that the solution will not be found that way. Spending my precious time thinking about things that I cannot change is not productive.

Dogs live for today—and so can we. We can appreciate every moment as it comes and be grateful for what we have. Like all animals, when we live in the present, we can have more enthusiasm, joy for life, and less worry.

3. Make every day special.

Sometimes we can let days go by and get swallowed up in our routine. Every day is the same and our excitement is lacking.

Have you ever noticed how a dog finds everyday life exciting? They can’t wait to eat, go for their walk, see you come home, or greet a visitor. We can learn so much by observing how our pets have enthusiasm for the simple joys of everyday life.

Everyday can be special for us as well. When we take the time to look, we may find our joy is still there waiting to be rediscovered.

____________________________________

To my awesome fellow bloggers!

Once again, I would like to thank the awesome Liz C for nominating me for the Animal Series tag-made me look at and see my Yellow in a different way -not just as a source of joy but also of inspiration! Here are pictures of her (my apologies, she’s so playful that’s why it’s so hard to get a good angle for a photo haha):

Nominations:

1. Pranitha
2. Clarissa
3. Nina
4. Dee Gratitude
5. Jown/Joan

The Rules Are

1. Thank the person who nominated you
2. Pick an animal and explain why they are a source of inspiration to you, and how their character can be used to motivate.
3. Nominate at least 3 other bloggers, to share the positivity!

 

(c) 2016 viewpointsofandrei.com

 

 

Thoughts and Quotes (#theWayoftheHeart)

“Follow your heart” is a creed believed and followed by billions of people. It’s a statement of faith — a gospel proclaimed in many of our stories, movies, poetry and songs.

Essentially, it’s a belief that your heart is a compass inside of you that will direct you to your own true north if you just have the courage to follow it. It says that your heart is a faithful guide that will lead you to true happiness if you just have the courage to listen and act. The creed says that you are lost and your heart will save you.

This creed can sound so simple and beautiful and liberating. It’s a tempting notion to believe.

YET, be reminded that the heart is a vessel – of joys as well as sorrows. It beats out anger and frustration as much as mercy and love. It, sometimes, gets played, stabbed, wounded,  stamped, burned and broken, emotionally. It mechanically beats and functions. It works to keep us physically alive at the same time to keep everything inside of it — the happiness, pains, longings and miseries — sustained also. It can get highly intoxicated by the variety of emotions that it takes and processes on a regular basis.

I often have heart to heart talks with my heart lately (and on the not so long past) and I was surprised by what I found out. My heart has said things I would not wish to repeat. Being true to myself, my heart tells me that all of reality ought to serve my desires. And about how I should be treated by others, and varied assortments of selfish, narcissistic wants and longings. More often than not, such conversations pointed farther south, down into the realm of deeper and darker emotions.

As much as I love and admire the strength and resilience of my own heart, and how it has never failed to keep me alive and feel alive, I still won’t entrust my precious life on its bidding. I must not follow it, rather I must lead it to where  I want to be at in life and who I wish me to become as a person.

Have you talked with your heart lately? What did it tell you?

(c) 2016 viewpointsofandrei.com

Thoughts and Quotes (#SuccessMustBeSustained)

Why do so many people reach success and then fail? One of the big reasons is, we think success is a one-way street. So we do everything that leads up to success. But when we get there, we figure we’ve made it, we sit back in our comfort zone, and we actually stop doing everything that made us successful. And it doesn’t take long before we realize that we’re going downhill.

In most things in life, success is a continuous journey, and must be sustained.

(c) 2016 viewpointsofandrei.com