Is “Goodbye” simply a word?

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How do I say ‘Goodbye’? You probably asked this phrase a lot of times before, have you? Towards yourself or towards other people.

People for ages have tried to understand the ‘good’ in saying ‘Goodbye’. Is there really any good in it? Trying to understand how to say ‘Goodbye’ to either end a friendship between friends, a relationship between persons that dated or where married, or saying ‘Goodbye’ at the end of a life.

There’s a saying and it goes like this: “Don’t say goodbye, say see you later.”- Unknown. This saying is overused a lot of the time and it sends a mixed message to the word ‘Goodbye.’

In one’s mind thinking through and planning out a way to say ‘Goodbye’ is so, so much easier than pulling through with the plan. The mind consumes what we want the person’s reaction to be and plays that role in our thoughts. When the time comes to either be face to face with the person, pressing send, or picking up the phone, our commonsense starts to take over and makes us realize that what we want to happen and what might actually happen are completely different. Some might start to panic and their palms become sweaty and they decide not to fallow through or they might follow through.

Ending ones relationship, whether it is dating or marriage, the mind becomes scared to hurt and damage another human being’s feelings. Yes, all of the people out there that say they are scared of nothing aren’t being true to themselves. Ask a person what they are scared of; if they say nothing ask “What about a goodbye?” It’s not trying to undermine a person, it’s the fact of making them open their eyes and realize that they are in fact scared of a ‘Goodbye.’

Saying ‘Goodbye’ at the end of a life is where the saying “Don’t say goodbye, say see you later,” comes into effect. Don’t get me wrong that saying ‘Goodbye’ to a really close friend or at the end of a relationship is just as hard, believe me when I say I know the difference (you can check out my post A message for the woman I’ll spend the rest of my life missing.), but the human mind tries to wrap it’s thoughts around that and grasp it a little harder. At the end of a life ‘Goodbye’, a person thinks and reacts before the mind can truly process what has happened. A person thinks and reacts that way because that’s what comes natural, sure later on the mind gets a chance to process the happenings, but not before a person pants the thinking and reaction.

Now that if you will take all that in for consideration ‘Goodbye’ isn’t just a word now, is it?

No. It’s so much more than just a word. That’s why people can’t understand the word and concept of ‘Goodbye’. Why the saying: “Don’t say goodbye, say see you later,” is a mixed message is because it undermines the truest sense of ‘Goodbye’ and tries to corrupt the good side of it.

Saying ‘Goodbye’ doesn’t have to mean for forever. It can mean for a day, a week, a month, a year, a lifetime, or until you meet again at heaven’s gates. In a personal opinion saying ‘Goodbye’ takes so much more courage and strength than to say ‘See you later.’ If a person can overcome the fear and misunderstanding of ‘Goodbye’ a person can go on in the world or in heaven and feel like they have the ability to overcome any and every obstacle thrown their way.

‘Goodbye’ isn’t just a word; it’s so much more…

#Reverse Bucket List

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Note: Pun intended. For a rather lazy Tuesday 😉

This is a follow through of my recent blog about having your own bucket list. Just for the heck of it, I also made my own list however I intend it for my eyes ONLY! For the selfish reason not to spoil the fun or for fear of being laughed at for having a lame and silly list as one a grocer might have before going to the grocery store (lol)!

This is also to remind myself of the dire and desperate need to accomplish my list before my bucket gets “kicked-down” which by the way is still a long way to go. Not that I am now ready to face the final curtain (God forbid) but that I don’t want the  time to come when I will be filled with what if’s and regrets that I have not lived my life to its fullest.

Some on my list could be easily achieved in no time while the others I guess would take me a lifetime. Nevertheless, as they say – nothing is impossible! You just have to fully convince yourself to achieve anything you wish to achieve! Of course backed-up with hundreds of tons of persistence, perseverance and commitment! Alongside the occasional and unintended bruises, broken bones and teeth, sprained muscles, so long and so forth, along the way.

Also for the heck of it, I likewise have my anti-bucket list or the things I DO NOT want to do before my bucket gets “kicked-down” which includes the following:

  1. Jumping off anything higher than a curb is at the top of my list. I have no idea why people want to jump off stuff before they die, unless maybe they want to die right away! But you look at people’s bucket lists and they always include such things as sky-diving, cliff-diving, and bungee-jumping. To me, all those activities represent is a waste of good underpants!
  2. And as long as we’re on the subject of heights, I would also include parasailing, hang-gliding, and rock-climbing. Why do they call it rock-climbing anyway? Looks more like rock-clinging to me!
  3. Another thing you see on bucket lists is a yearning to ride animals. Here is a short list of animals I have no desire to ride before I die: bull, lion, tiger, and ostrich. Might as well toss your neighbor’s angry Labrador, too 🙂
  4. I also have no hankering to run with or from bulls, or swim with great white sharks. Anyone who wants to swim with a great white shark has a self-image problem. They see themselves as a hors d’oeuvre.

Other things included:

  1. Go back to school (when google is not yet around).
  2. Take a polar plunge (with a polar bear also swimming nearby).
  3. Skinny dip in the amazon rivers (you could lose your juicy and succulent flesh in seconds!)
  4. Learn to yodel (as a pastime).
  5. Milk a hippo (just to be sure its milk is pink).
  6. Tease a resting croc or worse stick my head in its open mouth.
  7. Dance with the wolves. Lest, you want it your last dance!
  8. Eat my heart out (figuratively and literally!)
  9. Live in the past.

Life is crazy fun, we cannot make it more funnier! How about you? I’d be happy to know your reverse or anti-bucket list if you have one.

#BUILD

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If you’ve seen the movie The Bucket List, then you probably was also inspired to have your own bucket list. Since the movie was shown in 2007, I suppose many people are now already on the process of fulfilling their respective lists. Or may be some few lucky ones have already accomplished their list.

For the benefit of those who have not yet seen the movie here’s a synopsis: The movie traces the journey of two terminally-ill men, portrayed by Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, who helped each other complete their bucket lists apparently before they die. The things they did included skydiving together, flying over the North Pole, visiting the Taj Mahal in India, and riding motorcycles on the Great Wall of China. But what ultimately brought both of them their greatest joys were not the things that money could buy. They were to do with the relationships that they reconciled with the people they care for.

Although it has been said that “you can’t really tell what a person is like till his coffin is nailed”; there are things we can each do that can shape the man on his dying bed, so to speak. What we have established, accomplished, shown, spoken, fought for, and many others we did in this lifetime, define who we really are. They define who we are to ourselves and to other people.

To me a bucket list is most FULFILLING when it is not just all about things physical or only about “I, me and mine”. Which led me to ponder on these 3 significant questions:

Imagine your funeral.

  1. Who will be there?
  2. What do others think you stood for?
  3. What will they say when you are dead?

To my opinion, the answers to these questions definitely matter after we’re gone. Even though it won’t really matter to us anymore by the time (we’re dead) but these impressions  will somewhat keep us alive in the hearts and memories of the people we’ve left behind. Our life is our legacy to this world.

Have you tried making your own bucket list? If you intend to make one, you could try to consider this:

Lord Baden-Powell, founder of the Scout movement prepared a farewell message to his Scouts, for publication after his death. He carried it in an envelope marked “To be opened in the event of my death”. In it, he shared, “… Try and leave this world a little better than you found it and when your turn comes to die, you can die happy in feeling that at any rate you have not wasted your time but have done your best.”

Every single one of us I believe was given the great opportunity to be born and live in this world. Every single one of us is likewise endowed with different life circumstances at varying levels of convenience. However, as life sometimes wills, our lack (challenges, sorrows, hurts, frustrations, pains, et al) especially should not limit or restrain us from experiencing life and having the opportunity to make others experience life thru us and with us as well.

POINT: We should build or design our individual lives to include others.  Build on yourself and while you’re at it build also on your family, close friends, acquaintances and to the rest of the humanity within your means and your reach.

Instead of walls, build bridges that connect to people. Write a list that counts or if you already have one, modify it to have even just a little bit of impact to others.

 “LEAVE THIS WORLD A LITTLE BETTER THAN YOU FOUND IT”. At least to the people close to you. It doesn’t have to be the whole world though 🙂

Good luck!

Lead your Passion

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“To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it” – Kurt Vonnegut

Since starting this blog I did have more time to think about many things in my life. By that I mean making time to self-evaluate. What are those that I am experiencing at the moment or have had previously or those past experiences (regardless of magnitude) that had made me happy? I found out a lot! I also realized that I haven’t been in touched with myself for a long time now. Over the past years I’ve been a slave to my work and the so called social responsibilities which are activities inclined “outwardly” that they eventually sucked all my strength. No time to recharge – back out from everything, go someplace else or do things that could benefit me “inwardly”. It seemed that I have become somewhat a mechanical being (some kind of a robot) just habitually doing things on a daily basis. I have lost the desire to find meaning into what I do. I became one of the too many people nowadays who just continue to survive and had forgotten how to really live – and feel alive.

For this blog, I would like to share one of my fascinations which [I believe] I have not given time to think about for so long a time now. Which, in fact, led me to write about the experiences I shared on my previous blog (click here) and HOPEFULLY on the coming ones.

FACT: I am always fascinated by stories or tell-tales from various people of their adventure journeys into different places. Places where they longed to go to and where they knew that the fulfillment of their deepest yearnings will be satisfied once they’ve been there and enjoyed [or survived] each and every bumps and turns they have had along the way.

Some of the people I know (most of them my friends while others are close acquaintances) are born adventurous (in the real sense of the word). Apparently most of them are also nature-lovers, some vacation-lovers and travelers. They go places and do things that did not only bring smiles of joy to their faces but are also enriching to their inmost beings. Doing such activities radiates and emanates from them that ethereal feeling of deep satisfaction which eventually was also felt by the people around them, myself being one.

I guess it makes real sense, though, that they’re nature/places/travel-lovers to begin with. It explains a lot about their take on every journey – the elation they experienced on each of their “adventures” because they not only intend it to be so but they’re TRULY into it. Besides that, I saw something else which fittingly describes the “well from which such joy and satisfaction springs” so to speak – it’s PASSION.

Yes, I believe so, it’s passion. However, it is the one thing that I UNCONSCIOUSLY DISREGARD and PUT OUT instantly from my mind once felt. And it is for many reasons that I often neglect its bidding. First, is that I do not have the TIME to indulge with it. Second, I particularly do not know the “HOW” to it. Third, I really do not know the means to “SUSTAIN” it, somehow in a manner with consistency.

And the much bigger question is that: If I can muster the courage to pursue it, will I have enough strength of will to enrich it, or better, make it bloom into something worthwhile and beautiful?

Let me be clear that the “WHAT” has always been obviously apparent to me ever since. I know for certain what my passion is. The thing that is predominantly and persistently pushing its way out from deep inside, screaming to be heard and yearning to be satisfied by me. Not so like my friends, writing has always been my passion (going out on adventure or nature trips just second). Since I’ve learned how to read and got fascinated by books early on in life, I had this dream of writing my own book and somehow have it published in my name. However, I have to admit that I have no formal training on writing, even a simple article in that regard is hard for me to produce, let alone to begin with. Intrigued by the word passion, I tried looking for it in several dictionaries and was intrigue all the more to find out later on that nearly all of them connotes romance!  If that so, then passion must be pursued above all things and for all its worth! Right? Hahaha.

Anyways, after thorough research, I found one which gives: “Passion is when you put more energy into something than is required to do it. It is more than just enthusiasm or excitement, passion is ambition that is materialized into action to put as much heart, mind, body and soul into something as is possible.” – Urban Dictionary

There it is! It fits my circumstance perfectly well! Metaphorically speaking, if you will – [me] having no experience and background at all about writing other than what was needed to pass through a school education, [pursuing my passion in writing] would only venture me into something that I know would eventually sap all my strength (mentally, physically, probably emotionally too, and God knows what else)! I would be focusing my energy a million times over compared to that of a seasoned and experienced writer. Be that as it may, I am excited to pursue my passion unto wherever it takes me so long as I can find happiness thru it. And I consider blogging as a perfect platform for it. Wish me luck 😉

I’m not expecting much from myself. I don’t know as well how long it will take for me to fulfill my dreams and satisfy my passion. But I’m glad that I know now where to start and what “to have” [passion] to make my life’s journeys memorable and worthwhile.

I will not overthink and overdo things. I’ll just have to enjoy every process that comes along with my journey! One step at a time.

What do you think?

She’s Wild! An ecstatic & sensually pleasurable alone time.

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“Cherish your solitude. Take trains by yourself to places you have never been. Sleep out alone under the stars. Learn how to drive a stick shift. Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back. Say no when you don’t want to do something. Say yes if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees. Decide whether you want to be liked or admired. Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you’re doing here. Believe in kissing.”   Eve Ensler

Nothing compares to sipping a cup of steaming coffee while comfortably seated on a tumbled-down remains of a once perennial tree peacefully lying near the edge of a pristine and majestically serene and sparking lake with hundreds of thousands of lights bursting through the canopy of leaves merrily dancing on its surface. As you gaze at the emerging radiance of the sun bursting far in the horizon trying to break through between the walls of mountain ranges surrounding the lake in a motherly-like embrace. And in the calm and clearness of the waters you could see tiny fishes swim and the occasional ripples breaking the surface when bigger ones picked at something ingestible floating in on it. Truly, a sight that could easily draw out sighs of awe and wonder and joy just sitting there and being at the moment and feeling it.  The feeling of being far out from the hassle and bustle of a city life where only the soft gushing of wind rattling the lush dew-filled leaves of nearby trees then gently caressing your face, the melodic chirping of birds in symphonic harmony with the buzzing of insects and the soft sound of crystal-clear waters lapping the edge of the lake is the only available means of entertainment to savor – it’s heavenly! Where the wind carries the intoxicating aroma of grass, earth and wild aromatic herbs blended with the musky scent of the lake’s fluvial water gently caressing your face, slowly awakening your senses as you sip on your coffee while you gaze at the sun slowly peeking in the near horizon.

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Sitting beside the lake

What a great way to start a day as you look forward to an exciting array of adventures and activities you could freely arrange (without pressure)  while you’re in the wilderness. Yes. Wilderness and nature have an amazingly blissful impact on me. You could swim for a couple of hours or so under the heat of the sun. And maybe, if you will, also want to try and catch fish for lunch and perhaps a salad of fresh herbs and berries you could grab while trekking. Dinner will be by the bonfire. And you could just spread a mat afterwards and lie down to watch the stars in the heavens and feel the soft feel of tender grass against your back. When you’re mindful enough to bring in the wine it will double the fun! If I could only take more time out of my busy life and spend it somewhere – this definitely would be it! And I would gladly want to do it again and again as much as I wanted it more.

In fact, every one of us sometimes needs time to be alone. To take a break from something if not everything. Even babies need time on their own, too, so they can gradually start to understand that they’re independent from their parents.

However, one important point that needs to be considered is that there is a difference between being comfortably alone and being lonely.  Solitude, for one, is an example of being comfortably alone for it allows time to reflect, to center ourselves and to recharge.

Living alone, though it may not be the state you ultimately desire for yourself, affords an unparalleled opportunity to know yourself, to be yourself, and to develop yourself as a unique and interesting individual. – Phyllis Hobe

Like I always desire of doing – grab every opportunity to have an alone-time which only seldom comes in this ultra-fast paced modern world in which we live in. We all need time to detach ourselves from the complex conundrum brought about by the varied and sometimes “self-branded” all too important areas and events of our personal lives. Within which, every tick of a second counts, and that a slight mismanagement or neglect of that all too precious time could quickly send our tightly-balanced lives spiraling dangerously out of control in just a blink of an eye.

Nonetheless, you can also chose to take a risk, take small compromises and make it your intention to be alone. Have a quality time with yourself. Go to places you’ve never been. Do the things you like to do back in your childhood days. Commune with nature and while you’re at it, run or trek, do the cartwheel, shout at the top of your voice, howl to the moon, chase butterflies, skinny dip in the waters, sleep under the canopy of trees, watch the stars, sing along with the sounds of nature, anything and anyway you’d like to do. Be the person you want to be. Follow your gut. Fall in love (and risk be hurt) or love as you’ve never loved before. Forgive yourself and your past. Re-live and revive your faith. Move out of your established comfort zones. For all its worth, we won’t know what life would unfold unless we courageously take the first step towards a much fulfilling life that we could have and a much happier person we could become.

Let us – Live life.

 (c) 2016 viewpointsofandrei.com