Building Connections that Matter


Rear View of Group of Friends Hugging

Everything in life begins with connection. In each moment, we are choosing to join or separate – to connect or disconnect – and the person to whom we’re speaking feels what we have chosen regardless of our words.

What makes relationships challenging often comes down to one factor – we build the relationship from the outside in, believing something we want is not happening because of someone else who is outside of us. We must learn to connect first with ourselves and create a relationship from the inside out. These are what I believed in: building heart-to-heart connections is that even though it takes two people to create a relationship, the responsibility for connecting starts with you; and that everything depends on your level of awareness.

Relationships begin with being at peace with yourself – having a connection with yourself that nothing can break from the outside. Other people become a reflection of the loving, kind, peaceful relationship you have with yourself. You cannot receive what you cannot give. The scenery out there reflects the situation in here. Working from the outside in, more often than not, will fall short of the ideal, and leads to frustration, conflict and lack of fulfilment in the end.

We can choose to connect with another person or not, but we cannot choose to disconnect with ourselves. Many people are uncomfortable with this truth – they spend vast amounts of time trying to escape themselves, with all kinds of activities, work and distractions.

For many, their sense of self is ego-based. Individual egos have self-centered aims, tastes, desires, opinions, likes or dislikes. The very construct of the ego brings with it a built in conflict with other egos. If you think about it, it’s surprising that separate egos, each with their own set of rules and agendas, ever get together in the first place. When they do, their connections always risk unravelling because each ego is primarily tied with what it wants. 

To my opinion, the true self is a state of awareness, not a thing, mood, sensation or feeling. All it takes is a shift in awareness to discover that love, peace and lack of conflict exist inside of us, and have the power to change any situation. Indeed, the values you most cherish are not something to seek out and find. They are something that have always belonged to you. The only thing you need to do is recognise them.

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24 thoughts on “Building Connections that Matter

  1. As always, a very thought provoking post, Andrei! Is it not so easy to break that little delicate bridge of relationship with a swagger of your relentless tongue, but to go that extra mile to keep up that relationship, it takes more than plain effort to do it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I couldn’t agree more Pranitha. Relationships are built through connections; and true relationships are those that are founded by deep, heart-to-heart, connections.
      Nice to hear your wise words again Pranitha 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree with you Andrei, that it important to build connection with our ownselves before we could outside. It is necessary that we have self-awareness for us to accept who we truly are. Self-awareness and acceptance are vital when we’re building relationships with other people because in essence, we are sharing with them “who we are”…and we cannot share what we do not know or have… thank you for this thought-provoking post! ☺

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey Nina. Sorry for the late reply. I’ve been out the past several days ☺
      I agree with you too – you can not share what do don’t have.
      Thank you for always dropping by 😊💜

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Doni W

    Nice post Andrei!
    You have discussed many important themes relevant to this society!
    Ignorance is like fire, it kills relationships – can so relate when it comes to family!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts about the post Doni. You’re absolutely right is saying that ‘ignorance (or the utter disregard of someone or one’s self in some cases) is a relationship killer’
      Thanks for visiting my site. Appreciate it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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