Friendship Demands Truth


These past few days, my wife and I had been making plans to meet up with some friends we haven’t seen  for quite sometime now. Trips are already booked. We are (I mean, my wife is) finalizing the plans once we get to the place of one of our friends whom we are visiting and we’ll be staying with during said trip. Purpose of the visit: to catch some time together and rekindle the fires of friendship that had gone cold over the years of limited communications. How time has swiftly passed us all, leaving us missing each other and the memories of the times we’ve shared together. 

There are friendships that serve as wallflowers and there are those that remain true no matter what. This post is dedicated to one of the basic truths about friendship. Forget about the sweet, soft and cheesy ones for a while, let’s take it to the core and talk about the  bones — the hard stuff that holds friendship stand steadfast and strong — Truth.

What does it mean to be a friend — to be kind to another human being? We are taught in this culture that being kind means not making another person feel bad. We are conditioned to believe that it is virtuous to hide our strengths to save another from experiencing their weaknesses, to deny our blessings so that another avoids feeling their sorrows. Is this kindness? Is this friendship — to put away our truth so as to save another from experiencing their own truth — which might be sad? If this is true friendship, it is of an odd sort — true friendship that does not include the truth. Hiding the truth may keep a relationship going smoothly, but going smoothly is a paltry goal for such a precious and profound entity as friendship. When we choose smooth sailing over truth, we underestimate the weight that friendship can hold; we dishonor the very substance from which friendship is made. Are we so afraid of suffering as to be willing to sacrifice even friendship in order to avoid it?

To be a true friend is not to pretend that we don’t have different experiences in life, don’t receive different blessings and challenges. It is not to pretend that life is fair. A friendship that creates a shared experience at the lowest common denominator is not a friendship, but rather some kind of hiding place from life. We don’t need more hiding places. What we need are more foxhole buddies, true friends who can keep us company in the truth, and in the hard parts, where life isn’t okay or fair.

In truth, we do not need more ways to skirt the sorrows that are part of life, more strategies for keeping the waters smooth. What we need are friends who can accompany us through the bumpy and different truths of life. True friendship is about meeting in the place of truth, and loving and supporting each other there. Anything else is just a paler shade of polite.

I guess that’s where our (my wife and I) relationships with our friends was grounded and has grown over the years.

What are your thoughts about friendship?

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22 thoughts on “Friendship Demands Truth

  1. Your thoughts are always so wonderfully articulated. I agree with truth as being one of the foundations of friendship. Any friends you make based on superficial things might not last through the years. The lasting friendships I have gained are the ones where we know each other’s highs and lows.. Strengths and vulnerabilities. It is timeless… A true friend is like family.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very lovely words you got here Liz: ” It [friendship] is timeless… A true friend is like family”
      Must have a bunch of those types, am I correct? 😉
      So glad to hear from you again 🙂 Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I only have a handful of friends but I know that I could count on them as much as they could on me. We may not always see each other as we live in different places now, but our communication lines are open and we make plans to get together every once in a while. I also have friends who have different beliefs and values, but we can agree to disagree and learned to respect each others’ differences and accept wach others’ flaws. ☺

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Lucky you to have found such good friends 🙂
      True friends are blessings from God.
      Thank you for always sharing your thoughts Nina. I consider you one of the precious people I have here in the blogosphere 🙂❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Ana

    Guess what? True friendship means calling your friends because you missed them and would love to share your day and yet they dont give a damn answering thier phone but you love them anyway???? Humansss!!!!😲

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha. That happened to me a few times too! It also gets to a point where they don’t even answer their doors! Haha
      But like you said, we are often left with no choice but to love them anyway, simply because you just love them 😉
      And I do get my chance to get back every once in a while 😆
      But, after all, through much patience and perseverance (and a little bit of temper), doors were eventually opened up 😉
      Thanks for sharing Ana. Have a nice day! ☺


  4. I don’t have friends. Haha. I don’t sit well with betrayal so I chose to not have friends. But don’t get me wrong, I am a natural extrovert, I just don’t have the inclination to have a friendly relationship with anyone, like a deep friendship.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Steph! Glad to hear from you again ☺
      We all make choices what to have and to have not in life, don’t we? And we usually do make choices that we think are good to us 😊
      I’m grateful that you shared your thoughts about the subject. Thank you ☺


  5. Very well penned Andrei 🙂 With the social medias era, I sometimes feel that friendship has lost all meaning. Not that it doesn’t exist anymore, but just like “love” the word “friend” has become one that people tend to use lightly.

    I know a lot of people, and many of them I appreciate and care for… But I have just a handful of true friends, and I cherish those very special bounds!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your thoughts Cyranny. It is true, thru social medias, and having the ability to now mass express, we should be thinking deeper about whether our capabilities to interact, communicate, build lasting relationship and connections with others on more intricate levels are suffering.
      Many of us are lucky enough to be blessed with awesome friends who stick with us through thick and thin. I’m happy to know you have some 🙂👌


  6. My own thought is that you said it better than I ever could, Andrei (!)
    I suppose I have a fair few ‘chums’ (pals, most would say?) and associates, but a much smaller, select group of “friends” in the close, important way that you describe: you could them anything and they would listen and accept it — and help if possible, though it sometimes isn’t possible.

    Anyway… really good post. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts Buffy. You’re lucky to have select few good “friends”. Treasure them, they are blessings from God, as you surely are also to them ☺
      Glad to always hear from you ☺

      Liked by 1 person

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