Grow by Detaching from your Past


Most of us have heard that a key to happiness is detaching from our future. We know the dangers of getting too attached to things that aren’t certain…new jobs and new partners and rain-free vacations.

Detaching from the past, however, isn’t nearly as popular of a concept. And yet it might be even more important.

Think about it.

We are all brought up learning lessons and beliefs that are stated as absolute truths. And we assume everyone else believes them, too.

everyone believes that boys shouldn’t ever show fear….

everyone believes it’s important to go to a certain church on a certain day…

everyone feels that wearing designer clothes reflects success…

We learn these lessons from lots of people throughout our lives. Parents and teachers and friends definitively exclaim how things are in the beginning…then new colleagues and the media join in. And many of them mean well.

Before we know it we’ve got a whole bunch of beliefs about life…about the way things should be…that actually might not be true. At least not for us.

Sometimes, when we run up against a belief that no longer works for us, it turns into a terrible mind game. We feel like we’ve done something wrong. Like we’ve failed.

We don’t consider that the problem might be with the belief itself.

Need a few examples? Here are just a few beliefs each should be eyeing careful attention to:

  • Everyone should have kids
  • Taller is more attractive
  • You must vote a certain way
  • Failure means you just didn’t try hard enough
  • For the ladies, the thinner you are the better you are
  • And…true professionals work their butts off, 9 a.m.-5 p.m., every weekday.

Detachment from the past can be done in all kinds of circumstances. Even simple attitudes or judgments about something or someone are up for detachment grabs. We can choose to detach from them, to start fresh.

Of course, not everything is about detachment. There will be core values you have throughout your entire life. There will be hard lessons you want to hold on to. There will be a passionate belief in the soothing power of mint chip ice cream that will persevere from childhood to death.

But there will be other beliefs that will evolve and change over time. There may be some that, frankly, were never right for you in the first place.

The important thing is to recognize when a belief runs up against a different truth inside of you, to catch the mind game before it starts.

To understand that the truth of a lesson learned long ago (or not-so-long-ago) simply might not apply to you. Or, it might not apply to you anymore.

And then? Challenge the belief head-on. Consider where it came from. Consider whether you might want to detach from it.

Remind yourself that life choices are different for different people at different times in their lives. That other people’s beliefs might not always apply.

Go on, delve deeply on the beliefs you’ve acquired over time, and don’t be hesitant to challenge such beliefs. For your growth and well-being, nothing should hinder you, even the long-established and widely-accepted notions and conventions. At the end of the day, you’ll be smiling at the world for the freedom you’ve achieved!…I catch myself saying these words early this morning.

24 thoughts on “Grow by Detaching from your Past

  1. jakerose

    You’re absolutely right, the people in our lives can have great influences on our thoughts and therefore the choices we make. Some may with our best interests in mind, it for those that would only veer us off our chosen paths, some detaching from those old mindsets needs to be done. Thanks Andrei, very insightful like always!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post Andrei! I agree with you… circumstances changes, and so do beliefs. What we used to believe- which probably worked for us before- may not necessarily apply in our life now. Or perhaps, we met someone who might have proven that our particular belief has its flaws and so we no longer believe in it.
    The thing is, we should always be open to let go of beliefs that do not work for us anymore especially those that hinders growth and development; and try to embrace new ones that contribute to make us better individuals!
    Thank you for sharing another wonderful post! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Nina!
      I’m happy to hear your thoughts on the subject. It showed how much welcoming and adaptive you are when it comes to unexpected changes in life. I love this mindset of yours: “…and try to embrace new ones that contribute to make us better individuals!”
      You are full of optimism and positivity! Just what the world needs 🙂
      Thank you, Nina!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Absolutely in sync with your thoughts Andrei. The choices we make vary at different stages of life. People’s judgement should never affect our choice. Reflect and delve on it, from time to time, change them if needed and learn to grow.
    Wonderful morning post . Have a good day!!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s